Episode 173: Taboo (3)
It was the Goddess of Beauty descended upon this mortal world.
I know it’s a clichéd expression.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find any other way to describe that sight.
Click.
Swish.
The sound of high heels and the rustling of a dress hem that should never have been audible in this place felt as if they were ringing right beside my ear.
That was how overwhelming the presence radiating from the stage was. It held more influence than anything else.
At least to me.
Once you saw something like that, even the energy to get angry vanished.
Instead of getting mad, I felt like I should offer grateful worship to the wicked witch who had created this scene.
‘No.’
If she was the one who summoned a goddess, she couldn’t be called a witch.
The term saintess would be far more fitting.
“Hello. I feel truly honored to be able to stand together in this glorious place. I am the actress Woo Zia.”
Woo Zia’s voice pulled my drifting consciousness back to reality.
Because of Lee Ahjeong’s scheme(?), my subconscious had left behind somewhat embarrassing expressions like witch, saintess, and grateful worship, and now it felt a little ashamed.
Of course, even so, I still couldn’t think of any modifier for Woo Zia’s current appearance other than “goddess descending.”
At least it was a relief that the bean-chaff covering my eyes wasn’t only on me.
“Wow. Zia unnie is seriously so pretty.”
“なんまら (really)···.”
“When she brought over the tteokbokki, she already seemed the prettiest, but···.”
“Right. Do you need that kind of aura to be an actress···?”
Even the Hylliy members, who knew Woo Zia well, were busy competing to praise her.
There seemed to be a strangely odd evaluation mixed in after Kitano Sora’s murmur that mixed in her mother tongue and dialect, but anyway.
It was clear that this wasn’t just praise because they were friends — it was pure admiration.
“What? Lee Ahjeong, you’re close with that person?”
If even the Hylliy members were like this, how could the others be any different?
It was obvious that even the Orion and E-GIS members, who had been drilled with the teaching that “there are no women in public places,” were clearly waiting for Lee Ahjeong’s answer to the question.
“Of course. We’re close.”
“Uh··· really?”
“Uh··· what? Wake up from your dream. Yeom Gyu-ha, you’re a first-year debutant, right? The ink on the no-dating clause in your contract probably hasn’t even dried yet.”
“No, who said anything about that···.”
“And that unnie has a boyfriend. She’s an absolute goalkeeper, so give up on that thought right now. You guys too.”
Lee Ahjeong casually shattered the dreams of ten boys like that and then gave me a small wink.
If they had known the truth, they wouldn’t have even thought about it in the first place.
While all that was happening on this side, Woo Zia was doing her best with what she had to do.
“Final candidate, Han Yujin-nim. Soyagok.”
Hearing that line in Woo Zia’s uniquely husky voice was something I could never have imagined.
If it were up to me, I wanted to shout “Everyone, take your eyes off my woman!” in a booming voice so that only she would look at me and only she would hear me.
Of course, there were far too many eyes watching for that.
First of all, the witch-like—no, the witch herself—was laughing softly right beside me.
‘Yujin is an idiot···.’
I should have expected this.
If she wanted to land a blow on me, there was nothing else she could do but mobilize Woo Zia!
‘I never thought that person would actually let Woo Zia go···.’
I couldn’t even imagine that the great senior actress, who treated Woo Zia like a cherished doll and barely let her out of the house, would send her to a schedule like this.
‘No wonder··· her replies to my messages today felt a bit off···.’
The puzzle pieces that were now falling into place were more than a few.
Realizing this only now meant that, despite pretending to be calm, I had also been excited about being able to come to this event.
But there was no time to dwell on such self-reproach.
“Hehe. Congratulations.”
Only now did Lee Ahjeong reveal her characteristic playfulness without holding back.
Woo Zia’s mouth had not yet released the name of the person standing beside her, but the words she spoke while covering her mouth and lowering her voice were filled with certainty.
‘Of course.’
My gaze shifted slightly.
The place it moved to was the enormous screen hanging on the stage.
The image drawn in the far-right section of the screen divided into five parts was the album jacket for Soyagok.
‘The candidate song is Soyagok.’
The four songs I released this year.
Shooting star, Blue poem, Holic, and Soyagok.
In terms of chart performance alone, Soyagok was at the very bottom.
While Shooting star, which had a reverse run, along with Blue poem and Holic, had held the number one spot on the charts for quite a long time, Soyagok had literally been the ultimate runner-up.
However, when looking at absolute numbers rather than relative performance, the situation immediately reversed.
The song that had pushed Soyagok into runner-up position was none other than the affection luck song.
In reality, even just looking at YouTube views, Soyagok overwhelmingly surpassed the other three, and it had still managed to stay on the charts in the lower ranks until now.
In fact, Soyagok was my most confident work of the year — to the point that if there had been no affection luck song, I would have had the confidence to aim for the grand prize this year.
‘And right now, that affection luck song isn’t even a candidate.’
The candidates for MAMA’s Daesang Artist of the Year were the three singers who had won the More Famous award.
The biggest competitor, the affection luck song, had already won the More Famous Album award with its included album Victoria, so at least among the other four songs nominated for More Famous Song right now, there was no song that could surpass Soyagok.
If such a song had existed, the MAMA before my regression wouldn’t have gone so far as to swallow its pride and give an award to Lee Ahjeong, who hadn’t even shown up.
“2025 Music On Net Artist Music Awards, More Famous Song. The winner is···!”
And just as expected.
“Han Yujin-nim’s Soyagok! Congratulations!”
From Woo Zia’s lips, a voice that turned my name into a flower flowed out.
***
Clap clap clap clap clap.
I walked out amid the pouring applause.
This was already the second time today.
Considering all my past experiences, it was a path so familiar that even using both hands to count wouldn’t be enough.
But,
Thump! Thump! Thump!
Even after going through so many experiences, my heart had never pounded like this before.
It was the same with today’s MAMA and countless other award ceremonies.
Yes, even when I went up to receive that incredible Grammy, I hadn’t been this nervous.
Even if I exaggerated wildly and wrote a novel or manga where my song brought peace to the world and won the Nobel Peace Prize, an absurd development like that still wouldn’t make my heart tremble this much.
The reason was getting closer and closer.
“Soyagok is a serenade dedicated to a beloved lover, expressed with modern sensibility and Han Yujin-nim’s unique refined style···.”
The MC’s voice explaining the reason for the award sounded like nothing more than meaningless buzzing noise.
“Yujin-ssi, congratulations.”
“Hyung, congratulations!!”
“Teacher, this is huge! Really, congratulations!”
Starting with Seo Yoonje, the voices of my agency colleagues who followed me, and even the Trinity members who suddenly appeared from somewhere, all turned into mere noise because of that reason.
‘Congratulations, Yujin.’
She couldn’t say it out loud because of the occasion, but the deep gaze alone conveyed her feelings so intensely that it gripped and shook my heart more than anything else.
Receiving the award through Woo Zia’s hands, not anyone else’s, in front of so many watching people.
No matter what the name of the award was — even if it were something as trivial as the MyWay office perfect attendance award — it had no choice but to be the greatest award in the world to me.
“···.”
If it were up to me, I wanted to pull those shoulders into my arms right this instant.
I knew clearly that it would only cause a broadcast accident, yet the urge didn’t subside easily.
“Hey, Yujin. You need to handle your gaze. You’re staring way too obviously right now.”
It got to the point where Rapper Joohee had to cover her mouth with the bouquet and say that.
Thanks to her (though it was awkward to call it that), I finally took the trophy from Woo Zia’s hand and stood in front of the microphone to fulfill my duty.
Of course, that was all I managed.
“Um··· first of all···.”
I had definitely prepared an acceptance speech.
There were more than a few people I needed to thank, starting with Seo Yoonje, and above all, the countless people watching this moment on screen who found joy in my songs.
Countless words meant for them kept floating through my head, but they wouldn’t flow out of my mouth naturally.
Frustrated with myself,
“Whew.”
I finally decided to cause an accident.
“Actually, I had prepared a full list of people I wanted to thank in advance. Starting with CEO Seo Yoonje, numerous staff members, and above all, the many fans who enjoy my songs. I really should express my gratitude to everyone who made it possible for me to stand here today, but··· right now, I think I need to say something else.”
After saying that much, I turned my gaze away from the camera with the red light on.
“As quite a few of you probably already know, I am currently dating someone with the premise of marriage. To me, who changed the meaning of music that used to be nothing more than an escape, she is the most precious person in the world.”
To that precious person.
I had just committed the truly absurd taboo of turning my back to the camera while standing on stage, but I continued speaking without caring.
“I made a promise with her. If I win a daesang anywhere, we would get married then. We still have a little way to go before that promise can be kept, but··· since we’ve come this far, there probably isn’t much left.”
Of course, the deviation ended there.
Before the faces of the people working behind the scenes turned any paler, I turned my gaze back.
The meaning should have been conveyed enough with that.
“I’ll save the acceptance speech I prepared today for that time. I won’t make you wait too long. For the next year, I’m really going to work like my life depends on it. Since I caused such a huge accident, I’ll show you performance that matches it. That’s all.”
And with that, I stepped down.
It was the first time applause didn’t pour down when I left a stage like this, but even so, my steps felt quite light.
***
“Wow, you really went and did it, huh?”
Lee Ahjeong greeted me with those words as I returned to my seat amid the chaotic atmosphere.
I had something to say too.
“Didn’t you plan this knowing I would do something like this?”
I could say that because the atmosphere wasn’t entirely bad.
Even after causing a massive accident, applause was still pouring in for me.
In fact, it was the loudest among all the cheers and applause today.
“I expected it to some extent, but··· I didn’t think you’d be that obvious about it.”
Just as she said, it was practically a public proposal on stage.
People who liked that kind of thing were usually only clueless men, but when the scale was this big, maybe the story changed.
‘Strictly speaking··· it’s not her own business.’
It was the so-called ultra-massive gossip.
Since she couldn’t imagine herself being in that situation, she could only take it as a drama.
‘Well, the person involved must be dying inside.’
Seeing her face turn bright red as she went in, I was worried whether my back would survive today, but since she had also done something to me, maybe she wouldn’t end up in the hospital··· or would she?
Of course, I knew I had done something wrong.
‘This is clearly someone else’s event.’
We were just invited guests, and the true owner of this place, MAMA, was Music On Net.
Doing something like that — revealing private feelings without holding back in a place like this — was no different from me, as a professional, committing a taboo I should never have committed.
Guilt was only natural.
“Still, I feel a bit refreshed inside.”
But I had no regrets.
How many days and nights had I wanted to reveal this fact?
Not only when applause poured down for Woo Zia’s appearance just moments ago, but every time various comments followed Woo Zia’s activities, that desire had always shown its presence.
‘Besides, I was already thinking about the right timing to reveal it gradually.’
The reason we had kept our relationship a secret in the first place was the concern that the fact might interfere with Woo Zia establishing herself as an actress.
But that concern no longer needed to be worried about.
‘A confirmed card that can attract investment for the great senior actress’s disciple who made her decide to return.’
That was exactly Woo Zia’s position at this moment.
Of course, both the former and the latter were still secrets for now.
In the case of the former, everyone who needed to know already knew, and the latter was also something that would inevitably become known as time passed.
Casting avoidance?
On the contrary, if anyone was buried, it would be me — it was realistically impossible for Woo Zia to be shunned.
That was true even excluding the factor of ‘Woo Zia’s skill.’ If that factor was also taken into account, there was no need to say more; it would only make my mouth hurt.
I had simply never imagined that it would happen at this timing and in this manner.
Lee Ahjeong must have done this because she knew that as well.
At this point, even the MAMA side might already know something about the latter.
‘That’s why they’re letting this whole thing slide.’
The atmosphere was something that could be shaped however one wanted.
If packaged prettily from the start, it wouldn’t be too burdensome for the ones accepting it either.
“Well, that aside. But you know…”
The moment I was thinking that, I felt a sense of déjà vu from the voice that reached me.
There was no need to think hard about who it was.
It hadn’t even been a full hour since I experienced a similar situation.
‘Why is this person stepping in again here…? The prank should have ended already…?’
It felt similar to how she had stepped back little by little when hiding Woo Zia’s presence.
My mouth went dry from the fear that something else was still left, and Lee Ahjeong asked me with a truly witch-like smile.
“Next year… isn’t that too long?”
“Huh?”
That was all I could manage in response.
It wasn’t just because of the fear — even without it, those words didn’t seem easy to understand.
“No. There’s still one award left.”
“What are you talking about? The Daesang Artist is already confirmed for sunbae.”
Was she joking?
Wasn’t it common knowledge that the Daesang Artist winner was Lee Ahjeong?
However,
“Hey. You only know if something is long or short after comparing them.”
This time, Lee Ahjeong did not back down.
At that point, even I was momentarily stunned.
The Lee Ahjeong I knew had a strong playful side, but she wasn’t someone who lacked this much sense of propriety.
This kind of joke? It didn’t suit Lee Ahjeong at all.
‘Then why?’
My head was spinning and I couldn’t control my expression, standing there with a dazed face, when
“Pfft.”
Lee Ahjeong laughed like that and stood up from her seat.
Then,
“Shall we go take a look?”
She murmured to me like that.
‘Go where?’
The question that rose all the way to my throat was blocked by the MC’s voice flowing through the microphone.
And before I could even ask, it gave me the answer.
“Finally, the long-awaited Daesang Artist! Let’s welcome the presenter!”
“You all know the name, right? The greatest singer of this golden era! The celebrity of celebrities! The wannabe of wannabes!”
“The final curtain call will be given by AZ-nim. Please give a big round of applause!”
Of course, understanding that answer was a separate issue.
‘The person who should be receiving the award… is going to present it…?’
It was something that could never have happened before my regression.
That was why Lee Ahjeong, who had me caught in the curse of knowledge, left behind only one sentence before departing.
“Yujin. You really only know if something is long or short after comparing them. You still don’t get it?”
Only after her back grew smaller and instead Lee Ahjeong’s smile filled the entire large screen did I understand.
That the taboo Lee Ahjeong had committed was not something as simple as a parachute.
‘That crazy person really…!’
When weighed against the taboo I had committed, I couldn’t even tell which side was heavier. Its name was resignation.
Lee Ahjeong had given up the praise she rightfully deserved.