Episode 172: Taboo (2)
“Teacher. Congratulations.”
Chaekyung, who placed the trophy in my hand, whispered softly.
“Here’s the bouquet~!”
I also accepted the bouquet from So Young-I, who never lost her characteristic cheerfulness even in this situation.
The kids — Trinity — had finished their role here, but because it had been quite a while since I last saw them, it felt wrong to just send them off.
“Are you very busy? Is it hard?”
“…Yes.”
Among the kids who couldn’t easily answer the question, Nari was the one who gave an honest reply.
“But it’s fun too?”
“Yes.”
But when I asked the next question, they answered in unison without hesitation.
Naturally, laughter followed.
“Good. You worked hard. Keep it up from now on too. Next year, let’s have you guys come here too.”
“…Yes!”
At that encouragement, Jin Ro-a’s eyes slightly reddened as she spread her arms and came closer, but
“Hey. There are many eyes watching. Go back quickly.”
“Pfft.”
I kept a slight distance from the kid’s hug.
If I looked visibly older it might be different, but my current appearance was only that of someone in their mid-twenties.
For the sake of the kids’ futures, it was better to maintain some distance.
It definitely wasn’t because Zia might feel upset… no, maybe a little.
After sending the kids off like that, I stood in front of the microphone.
For the beginning, this seemed good.
“I am Han Yujin, a singer and producer under MyWay Entertainment.”
At the short self-introduction, applause and cheers poured out. While waiting for the sound to subside, I felt the weight in my hand.
The first trophy I held after the Grammys.
The existence of this completely unexpected trophy felt heavier than I thought.
However, thanks to that weight, I had a rough idea of what I should say on this spot.
“Perhaps because there were no separate candidates for this award, I never even thought that there was such an award I could receive, so I didn’t prepare any acceptance speech. Because of that, my words may be a bit disorganized, so I ask for your understanding on that part.”
As I continued speaking, applause and cheers poured out again — less than before, but by no means small.
“Whistle! Han Yujin is so handsome!”
In the middle of that, someone’s shout — I didn’t know who, but judging by the direction, it was definitely one of the Orion or E-GIS members — made me raise my hand to calm them down and take a short breath.
To refine as much as possible the words floating messily in my head.
“In truth, I am not the one who should receive this award. The number of hands needed to make even one song is far too insufficient with just mine.”
One finger.
“The session team that turned the mere arrangement of notes I drew on the score into a melody.”
Two.
“The choreography team that embodied it so it could be expressed with the body.”
Three.
“The AR team that found artists who could digest that song better than anyone else.”
Four, and a whole hand.
“The artists themselves go without saying, and the management team that poured their heart and soul into making sure those artists could focus solely on the song.”
The hands I extended slightly forward.
“The small things that I only drew in my head were able to remain as joy for all of you because of the hands of all the people I mentioned earlier. I am merely the lucky person whose name was placed in the most visible spot throughout that entire process.”
The cool air, slightly moist so that the throats of people who had to speak for a long time wouldn’t dry out easily.
The warmth that seemed to brush over it for a moment made me clench my hand.
“I plan to place this award in the most visible spot in MyWay’s building. Because this is an award received together with the people who couldn’t come here, the people behind the stage. I hope all of them will think of it as their own. Even if the president says no, I will push through. Come to think of it, the trophy design is quite pretty, so I don’t think he’ll oppose it.”
A little laughter leaked out at the joking remark.
It was a good timing to wrap up.
“The past year spent with all of you was truly enjoyable. Just thinking about how enjoyable the time we will spend together in the future will be makes today a really good night. That is all.”
When I bowed, applause and cheers poured down on me once again.
Thanks to that sound that naturally refreshed the mind, the weight I had felt from the trophy seemed to become a little lighter.
When I returned to my seat after making my way through the now-quiet audience, the one who broke the silence was Lee Ahjeong.
“Wow. You said you didn’t prepare anything, but it flowed like a clear stream.”
Because of the eyes watching, she didn’t act on it, but just those words alone made me feel like my side was being poked.
Of course, I had nothing to feel guilty about.
“Really, I didn’t know. There wasn’t even a single hint.”
“Really?”
“Yes. In the first place, MAMA has rarely given awards to producers. How could I have expected this? It’s an award that was deliberately created without candidates just to give it to me.”
“Hmm…”
Lee Ahjeong let out a small groan with suspicious eyes and then,
“Well. I’ll believe you on that.”
She ended the conversation in a slightly playful manner.
Considering her original personality, I thought she was backing off a little early, but soon Lee Ahjeong’s gaze left me and turned elsewhere.
Behind me.
“Alright. Now hit him.”
For a moment I wondered what that meant, but Levi’s reply to Lee Ahjeong’s instruction cleared up the question.
“Uh… no matter what, he’s hyung…”
“When did Yujin debut?”
“Um… last year?”
“And Hylilly, you guys?”
“Uh…”
“So you’re the sunbaes?”
“That’s… right?”
“Come on, it’s congratulating a hoobae.”
“Does that… make sense?”
No, I don’t think so.
Before I could say that, the eyes of the Hylilly members, starting with their leader Levi, began to change little by little.
“Then since we debuted later than hyung…”
Of course, the E-GIS and Orion members tried to step back, but the words that flowed from Lee Ahjeong’s mouth were something even I hadn’t expected.
“Who is the sunbae between Yujin and me?”
What is this, it’s not like we’re in the military in the 80s.
How does someone who hasn’t even been to the military have such natural last-year-soldier energy?
“Hey, hey, think carefully. Between me and Ahjeong sunbae, who do you think you’ll see more?”
Even though my memories of military service were close to twenty years old, I tried to counter as a fellow veteran, but
“Hehe. Sorry, oppa.”
“Sorry, hyung.”
It seemed these kids who had never set foot in that world couldn’t fully grasp the weight of my words.
And then,
“Congratulations on the award!”
“Congratulations, hyung!”
A barrage began as if they were congratulating a star player who had just hit a walk-off grand slam in the bottom of the ninth.
Hey, that one hit the bone, it hurts! It hurts!
***
Fortunately, that barrage didn’t last long.
The MC’s hosting resumed (it strangely seemed full of laughter, but maybe I was imagining it), and the content announced the start of the congratulatory performance.
“Um… Hylilly, Orion, and E-GIS members need to prepare for their stage.”
Thanks to the very grateful staff member who took away the people who had been hitting my back, I barely survived.
Once I barely regained my senses, in the midst of the noisy movement of a considerable number of people changing seats, one table far away caught my eye.
‘Hmm.’
A small table located behind the table assigned to Sunshine.
When Sunshine’s artists were seated, it hadn’t stood out, but now their appearance was clearly visible.
The Polaris members guarding the empty table where the Pleiades sunbaes had left their seats.
‘It looks sparse.’
Perhaps because the Altair sunbaes had left independently around the time Project Trinity was in full swing.
Even before my regression, Starlight’s table around this time hadn’t been very glamorous, but it definitely wasn’t this bad.
“Tsk.”
The bitterness I couldn’t hide leaked out like that.
Because I had twisted the path they were originally supposed to take, the people who gained as much as others lost — a prime example of that was the Polaris members over there.
‘Even the awards that Orion and E-GIS should have received.’
The Rookie Award and the Best Dance Performance Male Group category.
The original names engraved on the two trophies now standing on the MyWay table were Polaris.
‘And today’s stage too.’
The kids who should have been preparing a glamorous stage instead of standing as fillers in empty seats were also Polaris.
The fact that I, who had originally given them that light, was the one who took it away from them was unbearably bitter.
And that was all.
The thought that came to mind when I looked at them.
‘Now… I don’t hate her anymore. Lee Hee-kyung.’
The anger I had burned while ignoring the guilt I felt every time I saw the name Polaris was no longer felt.
Forgiveness?
No, it wasn’t that kind of boy’s manga feeling.
‘If I had to describe it… yeah, indifference.’
That was probably the extent of it.
Just as the opposite of liking isn’t dislike but indifference.
Of course, I knew well that Lee Hee-kyung was not the kind of soft person who would treat someone with mere indifference.
I knew she was a dangerous person who wouldn’t hesitate to push Kevin Lee into the abyss and spread absurd rumors about Lee Ha-on, even without evidence.
But,
‘So. What can Lee Hee-kyung actually do?’
Even when her only background was Seo Yoonje, I had managed to block Lee Hee-kyung’s schemes well.
Moreover, now?
With a giant behind her who had a subordinate capable of finding out someone’s personal information in just a couple of hours, what could Lee Hee-kyung, who was nothing more than the president of a single entertainment company, possibly do?
‘Not that I did it with my own power.’
In the first place, it was the kind of matter that didn’t even give any sense of achievement.
If I could solve such an unwanted task without having to get my hands dirty, wouldn’t that be better?
Right now, this indifference felt close to that.
‘Whether Lee Hee-kyung knows that or not, I don’t know…’
There was no way to confirm her inner thoughts.
And I didn’t want to.
Still, I had a strong feeling that it was closer to the former.
The reason was the current arrangement that seemed to be deliberately avoiding my gaze toward Starlight.
The fact that even in a situation full of holes like Project Trinity, there hadn’t been a single attack like the one with Lee Ha-on.
The fact that even though Kim Su-jin, the promising talent she had cherished so much, was being dyed with my color under my hand, she didn’t even show herself in front of me and hid her body.
Whatever it was, if Lee Hee-kyung was choosing to avoid me on her own, that was good for me.
Moving forward was originally like that.
Of course, separate from all that, I would still have to resolve this guilt toward Polaris someday.
‘There will be plenty of opportunities in the future.’
Just as I could help the Altair sunbaes as much as I wanted now that they had left independently.
With that lighter heart, I turned my head and saw the Pleiades sunbaes coming up onto the stage right then.
They too had their original award taken away by Hylilly.
Unlike Polaris, who received no awards at all, they had at least protected their pride by pushing out the original winner in the Best Vocal Performance Group category.
‘Well, they’re not the kind of people who would care about something like that.’
Thanks to that, looking at them felt much lighter.
“Hmm… You look like you’ve let go of something.”
At that moment, Lee Ahjeong’s voice came.
‘Sharp in the strangest places…?’
I froze slightly at the perfect insight that I couldn’t deny, but
“Hmm.”
This time too, Lee Ahjeong didn’t add anything more and stepped back once again.
She was definitely different from usual.
Everything, starting from the fact that she had come to a place she originally wouldn’t have attended.
Yujin wasn’t an idiot.
At this point, only a fool wouldn’t notice.
“Sunbae, what exactly are you plotting?”
“Me? What? Hmm? I don’t know?”
Of course, Lee Ahjeong wasn’t the type to confess just because of this much questioning.
Still, one thing was clear.
This person was definitely hiding something big.
Because I realized that, I didn’t ask any further.
‘Anyway, there isn’t much time left.’
Once the congratulatory performances were over, only four segments remained.
The “More Famous Song,” “More Famous Singer,” and “More Famous Album” — which were like the Best awards — and the “The Artist” which was the Daesang.
Since it was certain that “The Artist” belonged to Lee Ahjeong, the trick she had prepared must be in one of the remaining three.
‘Well, it’ll probably be either Song or Singer.’
Those were the two awards that MAMA’s side had hinted I was nominated for.
At this point, my mind actually felt at ease.
I didn’t know what kind of trick she had prepared, but if I could sense what the prank was, it meant it was an award I was going to receive.
“Heh.”
Lee Ahjeong must have noticed that I had realized the truth, because she no longer hid her laughter.
Still, I thought nothing would change, but…
***
It didn’t take long for me to realize that was a big mistake.
“Yes! Congratulations to the winner of the More Famous Singer Award! Next is the last More Famous Song category! Let me introduce the two presenters!”
“It’s a great senior, right? These days, even people in their teens and twenties sometimes know her as an entertainer, but this person is a singer. Senior Seo Yoonje!”
“And the other main character of the Best Music Video Award that AZ sunbae won! The rising rising actor! Actress Woo Zia! Please welcome the two honored guests with applause!”
At that moment, it felt as if the world had stopped.
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