Episode 171: Taboo
MAMA’s trademark, the image that comes to mind first when thinking of an award ceremony — the red carpet — was not used. Instead, after passing the unconventional yet luxurious purple carpet and entering the award hall, a staff member immediately approached me.
“The MyWay table is over here. If you go, there will be a nameplate with Yujin-ssi’s name on it. You can sit there.”
“Thank you.”
Following the explanation that included showing the table layout, I turned and walked again, letting out a small laugh.
‘They gave us quite a good spot.’
The number of times I had attended MAMA easily exceeded both hands.
I knew well enough what meaning the placement and size of the tables prepared for each agency carried.
In that sense, the table given to MyWay at this MAMA far exceeded my expectations.
‘If we rank by importance, it would be around third place?’
One might wonder what’s so great about third place, but in this industry, the important thing is that there are three major leading agencies.
‘Sunshine and JWY are similar, and then it’s us.’
It was a larger and more central position than Overwhelm, the last of the three major agencies.
No matter how much Overwhelm had walked a downward path this year without notable achievements, this was a matter of accumulated history and pride.
It was practically a declaration that they would cater to MyWay’s feelings even if it meant offending Overwhelm.
‘Even Starlight took about three years to climb this high.’
Well, it was hard to shake off the feeling that this was a reward for the great success of Project Trinity.
But even setting that aside, if they hadn’t acknowledged the future potential of MyWay’s artists, including High Lily, Orion, and E-GIS, such a bold investment would have been difficult to make.
‘It feels good for no reason.’
No one else knows, but the fact that something I built with my own hands is felt this way inevitably brings a smile.
As I got closer to the table, a voice that made the smile even longer soon reached me.
“Last year we were stuck in that corner. The year before that we couldn’t even come.”
“It was only nominated… so it couldn’t be helped.”
The owners of the conversation were Choi Eunwoo and Go Se-na, the vocal line of High Lily, who were the ones who had felt MyWay’s change most directly.
That made sense — they had gone from being outsiders who barely received any attention to securing a spot closest to the center in just one year.
“Tsk, not only coming to MAMA in your debut year but even getting a center seat! So you better know it’s an honor, Yeom Gyu-ha.”
“Ah, of course, senior Lee Roo-ri. Jingle jingle.”
“Pfft.”
The atmosphere that had been about to become a little heavy rose again thanks to the jokes between the two same-age friends — one the maknae of the senior group High Lily, the other the leader of the rookie group Orion, who had started their trainee period around the same time.
“Then should I consider it an honor too?”
“Oh! Yujin oppa!”
“Ah, hyung! You’re here!”
At the light addition I made, the High Lily members, followed by the Orion and E-GIS members, stood up one after another to greet me.
Among them, I was slightly surprised by the presence of an unexpected face.
“I’m honored too, senior Lee Roo-ri.”
“Aish! Oppa, why are you like this too!”
“Aigoo, what? I also came here in my debut year just like the kids.”
“Ah, please don’t. Sorry, sorry. I was wrong.”
When I teased Lee Roo-ri further, she immediately raised the white flag and tucked her tail.
Of course,
“Che… I’m going to tell Zia unnie later…”
I heard her muttering, but that was just a scolding for teasing a kid.
“Hyung, your seat is over here.”
“Thanks. Tae-oh, your hair and makeup look good today.”
Whether or not, I continued walking toward the seat where the nameplate with my name was placed.
After lightly greeting Tae-oh who pulled out the chair for me, I also greeted the face that had surprised me.
“But sunbae, what brings you here?”
“Hmm? Was I not supposed to come here?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying…”
“Kids! Yujin says someone like me, an old fossil, shouldn’t come here! Waaah!”
The person who embarrassed me by putting on an awkward act that didn’t suit her at all was Lee Ahjeong.
“Just kidding~ Just kidding. I was nominated, so they begged me to please come. So I came.”
She quickly added that explanation, but it was still a little lacking to resolve my question.
In fact, it wasn’t exactly wrong.
Needless to say, Aejeongun was nominated for the Daesang.
It was only natural for the person who was the strong favorite for the Daesang to attend the award ceremony.
I just knew.
‘You didn’t come originally.’
Before my regression, Lee Ahjeong had not attended the 2025 MAMA.
The same went for the Seoul Music Awards and the Golden Disc Awards.
Thanks to that, all the Daesangs of 2025 had ended with Seo Yoonje accepting them on her behalf.
Although those award shows were famous for not giving awards to absentees, they had no choice but to award the Daesang anyway. That showed just how great Lee Ahjeong — and Aejeongun — had been.
‘But what wind blew this time for her to come?’
Of course, it was a question I couldn’t voice out loud.
In the end, I kept my mouth shut and nodded as if I understood.
And a moment later,
Flash!
Instead of the soft lighting that had been illuminating under our feet, intense light poured down onto the stage.
***
The reason Music On Net had no choice but to put a lot of effort into MyWay soon became clear.
The one who opened the beginning of the festival was Orion.
“2025 Music On Net Artist Music Award, Rookie Award Male Category! The honorable winner is… Congratulations! First Step! Orion!”
““Waaaaah!”“
Along with the presenter’s voice calling Orion’s name spreading through the microphone, a cheer that seemed ready to pour out from the distant audience seats exploded.
“Wow! Orion took the Rookie Award that we couldn’t even get?”
Even while saying that, Lee Roo-ri clapped so hard her palms looked like they would burst.
In the festival of sound that spread out from that clapping, the five Orion members stood up with dazed faces,
“Congratulations. Go on quickly.”
At my short congratulatory words, they finally seemed to realize it and walked toward the spotlight.
Only after the kids went up on stage did I turn my gaze.
“Are you guys okay?”
The question I asked while slightly covering my mouth so it wouldn’t be caught on camera was for E-GIS.
That’s right.
E-GIS had also been nominated for the Rookie Award.
There had certainly been a possibility of a joint award, but unfortunately E-GIS couldn’t take that last step and had to stop.
They probably knew the difference between Orion and themselves.
‘The difference between the debut song and the follow-up activity song… roughly?’
Although E-GIS’s song that was nominated for the Rookie Award, Glaze, had competed with Orion’s First Step, and although they fell slightly short in terms of results, there was no element more fitting for the Rookie Award than the symbolism of the three letters “debut song.”
“Hmm… It’s a shame. It is a shame…”
As expected.
The E-GIS kids had sincerely congratulated the Orion members when their name was called, but on the other hand, it was inevitable that some regret remained.
The Rookie Award was an award that only came once in a lifetime.
Still, the expressions of the E-GIS members weren’t too dark.
“We still have two more chances left, right? They wouldn’t take all the greed, would they?”
Just like when I had met the E-GIS kids before, there was a very high possibility that E-GIS would receive the Rookie Award at either the Golden Disc or the Seoul Music Awards.
“First of all, I want to share the joy of receiving this perfect gift called the Rookie Award with all the Artemis members. Thank you so much!”
While I was thinking that, Orion’s acceptance speech began.
The kids, who knew exactly the root of why they could exist under the name Orion, naturally mentioned first the people who should be happy together with them.
After that, the names of their parents, Seo Yoonje, and many others flowed out. At that moment,
“Ah.”
Someone let out a short exclamation.
“Now that I think about it, wasn’t Yujin-hyung also a candidate for the Rookie Award? Why wasn’t Yujin-hyung on the list?”
Perhaps because of the slip of the tongue the kid had made to me.
The one who realized this fact first at our table was Lee Ha-on.
Just as he said, I had not even been nominated for the Rookie Award.
“Hmm.”
In fact, I had known that from the beginning.
It was something MAMA’s side had already asked for my understanding about in advance.
‘The ‘reason’ they gave was reasonable enough.’
The reason for excluding me from the Rookie Award was understandable, and since it was obvious that either Orion or E-GIS would receive it if not me, I wasn’t particularly disappointed.
‘Above all, I’ve already received it once before.’
Even if that weren’t the case, I had already experienced what it meant to receive an award that could only be given once in a lifetime.
If asked whether I was disappointed, I couldn’t firmly deny it, but compared to others, the degree had no choice but to be relatively less.
However, none of the reasons I understood could be easily explained, so while I hesitated for a moment, a pretty good reason dropped right in front of me.
“Lastly… from the formation of Orion to our debut, everything started and ended in the hands of one person. Yujin-hyung, no, Producer Han Yujin. I don’t think there could have been greater luck than the fact that I was able to achieve this dream with a song from a senior I can only respect. Hyung, thank you so much.”
Tae-oh’s plain comment as he held the microphone at the very end among the members.
The applause pouring out for that acceptance speech was directed not only at Orion but also at me.
“Well, that’s enough. What more could I ask for?”
It was close to being picked up at just the right timing, but these feelings were sincere.
The fact that I had delivered with my own hands the joy I had once enjoyed to someone else.
Of course, I had experienced this kind of joy before my regression as well, but strangely today the joy felt even greater.
Perhaps because the only person who could receive ‘the MAMA Rookie Award that I had once received’ — unless I regressed again — was Orion and no one else.
“Hyung…”
“Wow, Han Yujin. Even I got excited for a second just now.”
“Uh, Joohee… You’re going to tell on me for that.”
“Huh? No, wait, that’s not what I meant. I really meant it humanly. Sora? Are you really going to tell?”
“Sora is joking~”
Since most of the people here probably didn’t know the real meaning behind it, some misunderstanding seemed to have arisen.
And a strange skit flowed between Rapper Joohee and Kitano Sora, but
Anyway, the atmosphere that had almost gone down rose again in a rather warm way.
The problem was… it was too warm.
“The winner of the Best Dance Performance, Female Group category is… Wow, it’s your first award since debut. Congratulations! Hylilly of Mysty!”
“Best Dance Performance, Male Group! You must have felt a little disappointed about the Rookie Award, so I won’t drag it out. E-GIS’s Glaze!”
As if to prove that Music On Net had marked MyWay as the main character of this party, every time the names of MyWay artists were called,
“Sniff… Really… Yujin oppa. Thank you so much. This song from Mysty was really the best gift of my life. Han Yujin is the best!”
“Every time I listen to, sing, and feel Yujin-hyung’s songs, I learn so much. If the person who gave me the first opportunity in my life was CEO Jo Dae-hwan, then the person who gave me the greatest opportunity in my life is Producer Han Yujin.”
Because my name was mentioned along with those grand acceptance speeches that made my face heat up.
No matter who I was, it was a little — no, quite difficult to be the one who solely decorated the ending of such grand acceptance speeches.
“Wow. Yujin-ssi is really amazing? Do you want to work properly with me next time? I can also go out there and give a proper acceptance speech.”
On top of that, Lee Ahjeong’s teasing-not-teasing was added.
Fortunately, that burdensome atmosphere didn’t last long.
The reason was simple.
Because even Lee Ahjeong had returned after winning the Best Music Video Award, I had become the only person sitting at the MyWay table without a trophy in front of me.
But as always, moments of rest come to an end.
“The next special award is the one that picks the best producer of the year.”
“Best Producer Award. The presenter is… the winner of the topic program until recently. Project Trinity’s winner! Please welcome Trinity with applause!”
“One, two, three, Try your dream! Hello, we are Trinity! It’s truly moving that we, who haven’t even been debuted for long, can stand on such a glorious stage. We want to savor this emotion more, but the main character of this spot is not us, so we’ll start right away. 2025 Music On Net Artist Music Award, Best Producer Award! There are no separate candidates!”
By this point, it wasn’t just me who could guess who the winner of this award without candidates was.
Among the countless people who had stood in front of that microphone today, the name mentioned by the most people.
The reason they deliberately placed Trinity on that spot instead of other celebrities.
There was only one intersection between those two things.
“Producer Han Yujin of MyWay Entertainment. Congratulations!”
““Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”“
Was it an illusion that the current cheer felt the loudest among all the cheers that had rung out so far?
No.
It wasn’t an illusion.
Because,
“Hyung! Congratulations!”
“Whistle! Han Yujin is so handsome!”
The party had already begun with cheers that seemed to have been held back until now, starting right from this table.
The problem was that I couldn’t simply enjoy the spot that had become my turn.
The award I had expected to receive — to be precise, the award that MAMA’s side had given me a hint about — was not this one.
‘I only prepared one acceptance speech…’
That was definitely a serious matter.
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