Chapter 6 — Friday (2)
We arrived in Hongdae.
Following the HR representative’s instructions, we entered a building.
It was originally an office belonging to a promotional outsourcing company. Instead of the usual staff, members of the marketing team were waiting for us inside.
Following their directions, we changed clothes.
Into uniforms.
The thick winter jackets looked like college varsity jackets, while the tops resembled baseball team uniforms.
Everyone changed clothes while laughing and chatting. The upcoming promotion event apparently looked fun to them, and they were busy taking selfies together.
Then one of the marketing team employees shattered the cheerful mood.
He carried out something huge from one corner.
It was a giant soju-bottle mascot costume larger than a person’s body.
“One member from each three-person team will need to wear this mascot costume.”
The mascot character was cute, and the female recruits immediately started squealing over it.
Judging by their reactions, it was obvious this thing would stand out anywhere in Hongdae. People’s attention would stick to it like arrows.
Still, no one could refuse.
We were new employees, after all.
So each team began deciding who would wear the mascot suit.
Around thirty recruits filled the large office.
Among them, the fastest team to decide was Han Jia and Yoon Jungwook’s team.
Neither Han Jia nor Yoon Jungwook volunteered. Instead, the awkward third teammate got stuck wearing it.
Our team had to decide too.
First, Park Sanghoon raised his hand.
“I’ll wear it.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
“Huh?”
“Nope. Decision’s made. Go back.”
I was about to gratefully accept his sacrifice when Kim Ain sharply grabbed the mascot costume.
“I’ll wear it.”
Why? Why? Why are you volunteering when it doesn’t fit your character at all?
I stared at her in surprise, and Kim Ain looked back at me.
“What?”
“You’re just unexpected.”
“What about me is unexpected?”
“I thought you’d act more like a princess who expects to be treated specially.”
“I’m not stupid enough for that.”
“That’s a relief. People outside were already protesting for the princess’s release, so it was getting noisy. Ghk!”
You should seriously quit the company and become a boxer.
A liver punch sent me staggering back about a meter.
“At this rate, I’m gonna end up punch-drunk because of you.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a thing. Anyway, hyung, let’s go with Kim Ain wearing it.”
Park Sanghoon scratched his head.
“I really don’t mind wearing it.”
Kim Ain firmly shook her head.
As if saying the discussion was over.
“I’ll wear it.”
Faced with her sharp determination, Park Sanghoon had no choice but to nod in agreement.
***
This woman…!
I thought she was an idiot, but she was actually smart.
As the giant soju-bottle mascot waddled through crowded Hongdae, everyone stared.
“Ahhh! So cute!”
“What’s this for?”
Whenever passersby asked questions, Kim Ain wiggled and danced around like a lunatic inside the costume.
Completely unaware that a black-haired, big-breasted beauty was hiding inside the mascot suit, people happily hugged and rubbed against it while calling it cute.
Meanwhile, all the embarrassment belonged to us.
“We’re new employees from Sekyung Foods~!”
“We’re holding an event today!”
Park Sanghoon and I forced ourselves to shamelessly approach people and explain the event.
The one having the easiest time was obviously Kim Ain, who only needed to shake her body around while hiding her face.
And thus our promotion event began.
Soon enough, we realized life was harsh.
The moment we asked people to follow the company Instagram account, their expressions changed.
“What a hassle.”
“Eh, I don’t know about that.”
“The prizes are too weak.”
People instantly lost interest and walked away looking disappointed.
As I watched their backs—
“Do your job properly!”
Kim Ain started kicking and punching only me with her feet and fists.
“Hey! Why are you only taking it out on me?!”
“Because you’re comfortable to bully.”
“Take that mascot suit off. I’ll wear it instead.”
“Don’t want to.”
She ran away.
Like a cheerful lunatic.
No, actually—she just ran back in front of people and started wiggling side to side again.
Now I understand why singers on King of Mask Singer act like complete weirdos once they hide their faces.
With her identity concealed, Kim Ain enjoyed total freedom.
As a side effect, however, our embarrassment stacks kept building higher and higher.
The problem was that embarrassment stacks didn’t explode into rewards.
Instagram followers and comments were not increasing proportionally.
“At this rate we’re gonna finish dead last. Alright, let’s take a break and come up with a strategy.”
We headed into a quiet alley.
Kim Ain briefly took off the mascot head.
Immediately, passing men’s eyes snapped toward her.
Exactly. This is the answer!
I didn’t care about winning first place, but I also didn’t want to finish last.
At this rate, though, we really would come in last.
Since it was time to play our trump card, I looked at Kim Ain.
“Ain, how about you stop hiding and promote directly? People would probably do whatever you ask.”
“Mm. Nope. Go back.”
“Huh?”
“I used your own words. I’m going to keep wearing it, so go back.”
“At this rate we’re finishing last.”
“Then let’s finish last.”
“Come on.”
Ziiip.
She pulled the mascot suit back on.
What is that thing, your emotional support bunker?
If I’d known this would happen, I should’ve worn it myself.
I regretted it, but it was too late.
Kim Ain and the mascot costume were practically one body now.
“Here, drink some water.”
While we argued, Park Sanghoon had gone to buy water from a convenience store.
Cold streets of Hongdae.
Me, Park Sanghoon, and Kim Ain wearing a mascot suit.
The three of us sat side by side in a narrow alley.
This really was like Misaeng.
Like salesmen who failed to sell their socks, we blankly stared at the sky.
Then noisy sounds echoed from farther down the alley.
Music.
Busking, maybe? Either way, it sounded like some sort of performance stage had formed.
A typical Hongdae weekend.
Thunk.
Then I felt something slam into my head.
Kim Ain had headbutted me with the mascot head.
“What?”
“Let’s go promote over there.”
“Where?”
“Wherever that music is coming from.”
“Do you even know what it is?”
“I saw it while we were entering the alley. I think it’s some dance crew performance.”
“You know how to dance?”
“You can dance instead. Didn’t you say we shouldn’t finish last?”
Finishing last wouldn’t kill us.
But it’d definitely attract attention.
Still, that didn’t mean I wanted to dance.
I was just about to raise my middle finger in protest when Kim Ain moved faster.
The giant soju bottle grabbed my body and struggled to haul me up.
“Let’s just go first.”
“Yeah, Juchan, let’s go check it out.”
Even Park Sanghoon joined forces with her.
Unable to withstand the pressure from the two of them, I eventually started walking toward the source of the music.
***
We stepped out of the alley and headed toward the source of the sound.
Hongdae Playground.
Crowds of people had gathered around it.
I added my head to the crowd. There really was value in becoming taller. In the past, I wouldn’t have been able to see over the crowd, but now I could.
Just as Kim Ain said, it was a dance cover busking performance.
People wearing clothes that exposed their arms and legs were dancing in this freezing weather.
Aren’t they cold?
I was thinking that while watching when Kim Ain slammed the soju-bottle mascot head into my own head again.
“You’re enjoying this too much, aren’t you?”
“Look over there.”
She pointed somewhere.
Another soju-bottle mascot stood there. Beside it were two people: Yoon Jungwook and Han Jia.
Han Jia spotted us and waved while walking over.
I waved back—
Then Kim Ain spoke again.
“Looks like they came here thinking the same thing as us. Hurry up.”
“Huh?”
“We need to do it first.”
“…Do what first?”
“Crash the stage.”
“You’re immune to embarrassment because you’re wearing a mascot suit. I’m not.”
“That sounds like a you problem. Hurry up and go.”
This woman…!
She suddenly shoved me hard with the mascot suit.
I stumbled forward.
A sudden stage invasion.
People looked startled.
Me too.
I was so embarrassed I immediately tried to retreat—
But someone grabbed my arm.
It was the busking host.
The song had just ended and the dance cover team was reorganizing.
Apparently he needed to kill some time, because he welcomed me enthusiastically. He even shoved a small camera toward me, probably filming for YouTube.
“Don’t run away—come over here!”
Dragged by the host, I ended up standing in the middle of the stage area.
He seemed used to this kind of thing.
Suddenly, an interview started.
“Judging by the uniforms, you seem to be from some kind of event team. Where are you from?”
“We’re new employees from Sekyung Foods.”
“Oh! Sekyung Foods—the company that makes Jinha Soju, right?”
“That’s right. We’re here for promotional activities today. You can see the soju mascots over there too.”
I refused to die alone.
I pointed at Kim Ain with my finger.
The host immediately understood what I meant.
He ran over and instantly captured Kim Ain as she tried to escape.
Same with Park Sanghoon.
Before they knew it, both of them had been dragged up beside me.
Now that the three of us stood together, the crowd started staring.
—He’s handsome.
—They all look pretty good.
…Wait, was that directed at me?
Countless eyes focused on me.
This is embarrassing.
I wanted to disappear, but the host continued talking.
“I drink Jinha Soju pretty often myself. So what kind of promotion are you doing today?”
“Uh… Our new employee training program has us running an Instagram follower event. If you follow Sekyung Foods’ Instagram and comment our team color, ‘Violet,’ you’ll receive prizes.”
“So that’s why there are so many soju mascots walking around today. I can see more over there too.”
Apparently recruits from teams besides Han Jia’s had also come here. Soju mascots kept popping up among the crowd.
The host scanned the area once before speaking again.
“I’ll help with your event.”
“Suddenly?”
“But there’s a condition.”
“I think we’ve failed the condition already.”
“If you show us a dance performance on stage, I’ll ask everyone here to follow the Instagram and leave comments.”
—WOOOOOOAH!!!
—Do it!!!
—Show us! Show us!
Am I standing in the middle of the French Revolution or something?
People formed a wall in front of me like they were ready to put me on an execution list if I refused to dance.
Why is everyone suddenly losing their minds?
Completely confused, I tilted my head.
Then the host leaned in and whispered into my ear.
“A handsome guy suddenly crashing the stage? Please help me farm some YouTube views here. It’s okay even if you’re bad.”
God of Losers, you bastard.
Now that I’m handsome, weird situations just keep sticking to me.
Suddenly, an old cringe memory resurfaced.
Middle school retreat camp. I went on stage and did some crab-leg dance that froze the atmosphere solid like Alaska.
Never again.
I was just about to shake my head and hands to refuse—
This woman?!
Kim Ain shoved me again.
I stumbled another step forward.
And the host immediately seized the opportunity.
“Everyone! He says he’ll do it!”
Bullshit!
Honestly, smashing the host’s skull open right here would probably get more YouTube views than dancing.
Just as I was about to seek enlightenment through violence, the world moved against my wishes.
Music started playing.
“Cheer Up.”
A famous girl-group song.
Too famous.
Which meant, damn it, I knew the dance.
I’d learned it once during a company recreation workshop. Back then, the dance instructor told me I looked like a broken puppet and that it was terrifying.
Maybe I should dance it again and turn the genre into horror instead?
Right then, the tiny child inside me shouted:
—Use the ability I gave you.
Ah! Right.
The God of Losers said I could purchase abilities.
I hesitated.
Should I really invest in dancing just to overcome this crisis? How many times in life would I even need dancing skills?
Still, the hesitation didn’t last long.
Better to buy dance skills than jump into the Han River out of embarrassment.
I can earn more points through sex later anyway.
First, let’s avoid ending up on YouTube under some title like: “Handsome Guy With Horrible Dance Skills.”
‘God of Losers.’
—Understood.
A message appeared in my head.
[Dance skill has reached Level 5. You are now at the level of the best dancer in your neighborhood.]
The moment the message echoed in my ears, my body moved naturally.
***
Friday night, Hongdae Playground.
A huge crowd had gathered to watch the busking performance.
Among them stood a woman drawing the attention of countless men.
Han Jia smiled brightly while inwardly staring at Min Juchan with discomfort.
‘So I really did need to secure that oppa.’
Only the best should stand beside her.
By that standard, Min Juchan was disappointing in every area except appearance.
Especially his absence on the first night when everyone gathered to socialize—that had been a fatal flaw.
Someone who skipped social gatherings lacked social instincts, and she hated that.
So she’d almost decided to give up on him.
Still, as a final chance, she invited him to the drinking gathering.
And when he refused even that, her interest had almost completely disappeared.
At least until just now.
She never expected it.
Never expected the guy who avoided social gatherings to suddenly crash a stage.
Never expected an engineering graduate to dance.
And definitely never expected him to dance that well.
Wearing the Sekyung Foods uniform, Min Juchan was flying across the stage.
Before anyone realized it, female dancers had joined him, and he perfectly synchronized with them while performing “Cheer Up.”
‘So he didn’t seem introverted because he was shy… he was just annoyed?’
Right now, he looked like the ultimate extrovert.
There was no other conclusion.
Han Jia turned her head and glanced at Yoon Jungwook standing beside her.
A man completely opposite from Min Juchan.
The only thing Yoon Jungwook could boast about was his academic background.
Which suddenly made him seem boring.
‘That oppa could never do something like this. No—most people couldn’t.’
Crashing a busking stage and dancing.
An ordinary person simply couldn’t do that.
Han Jia looked forward again.
There was Min Juchan, dancing with both hands raised cutely in the air.
‘How much attention would this get if uploaded to YouTube?’
A legendary new employee at a major corporation.
A title like that would obviously spread everywhere.
Min Juchan was destined to become an instant star within the company.
The moment she realized that, all the discomfort in her heart vanished.
‘Then I’ll just keep him beside me.’
Min Juchan, the engineering graduate.
To Han Jia, he looked like someone far too easy to manipulate and consume.
That’s what she believed.