Episode 83: Sincerity (1)
The holiday ended, and the quiet streets filled with people again.
Most bore heavy shadows, a rebound from the long break, but exceptions existed.
“Good morning, Yujin-ssi!”
Like the person before me.
“You look bright, Ailee.”
Her face glowed so much it seemed to plump her skin. She stepped into the elevator with confident strides, heels clicking.
“Yeah, I just visited my daughter after a while.”
Ailee’s a trailing spouse. Her husband, a corporate expatriate, lives in the U.S. with their daughter.
“Too busy for Christmas, so this was my first trip since Chuseok. Fully recharged—enough for half a year.”
Being apart from family is surely painful.
The envy it sparked had one reason.
“But why are you so down, Yujin-ssi? Shouldn’t you be as happy as me?”
“Ack, ugh!”
Suhyuk beside me let out a panicked groan at Ailee’s pointed remark.
The pity? Her high energy likely missed his reaction.
“You proposed to Zia-ssi, right? Oh, brings back memories. We had those days too.”
“Haha… who told you?”
I glanced at Suhyuk, frantically shaking his head in denial.
‘Pfft. What a fuss.’
Suhyuk’s one of the few who know the full story.
As the biggest “victim” (?) of my changed path, I had to inform him.
I never suspected he’d tell Ailee.
Same company or not, what link exists between an A&R top and a management newbie?
‘One of two.’
The likely sources: Moon Sookhee, who first knew, or—
“Heard it from Director Lee.”
Right, Lee Ahjeong.
‘This guy…’
Her teasing intent was clear, but it didn’t bother me.
Knowing her playful nature from pre-regression memories helped.
Ailee needed to know anyway, so it didn’t feel overstepped.
Still, my gloom stemmed from the topic itself being bittersweet.
Even without Ahjeong, I’d have felt this way.
“Not sure if it’s good, but congrats, Yujin-ssi—though it feels like you’re rushing to hell’s gate.”
Isn’t that usually a guy’s line? I thought briefly.
Suck… “Didn’t you hear the rest, Ailee?”
I took a deep breath and shared the part she missed.
“I got rejected.”
“What? … WHAAAT?!”
Ding!
The elevator hit the ground floor just then.
Ailee’s shriek escaped, drawing startled stares from staff outside, halting the conversation.
“No way! How’d that happen? How’d you propose? Did you pop a trunk with balloons and candles in front of a crowd? Anything short of a mess should’ve worked!”
Soon after, exiting, Ailee unleashed her pent-up questions rapid-fire.
“Technically, it’s on hold.”
“On hooold?”
That answer baffled her too.
But—
“She said to win a daesang at any awards show. She’ll marry me if I do.”
“Ohhh…”
Her long sigh showed understanding.
True, rejection stings as Han Yujin.
But Zia’s condition was a fair challenge for singer Han Yujin.
‘A storytelling arc of sacrificing one goal. Perfect for BM.’
My fans include those who love my music and those hooked on my love story with Zia.
‘Marriage isn’t love’s end…’
But rushing it now might cool the hot buzz.
To sustain the “Han Yujin” hype, pacing it matters.
A daesang’s a fitting milestone.
Idols with similar romance-driven models often shift fan sentiment to “date if you must, just don’t get caught” after a few wins.
‘Plus, with Zia acting…’
Marrying now offers little beyond my desires.
Zia likely didn’t plan this strategically.
Probably—
“She means focus on your goals now.”
Ailee’s take likely mirrors Zia’s intent.
“Five years cohabiting is basically married. Legal ties don’t mean much.”
Her follow-up comfort didn’t soothe me—those ties were my aim.
“What can I do? Gotta try, right?”
Her next words pierced the confidence beneath my gloom.
Finally, I relaxed, shrugging.
It’s no easy feat.
But not impossible.
I’ve won Grammys in my main field.
Outpaced rising stars, stacking daesang trophies.
Though gone now, the experience remains.
“Of course. Yujin-ssi wouldn’t crumble over this. Even when Ahjeong debuted, the industry wasn’t much different. You’ve got this. We’ll support you fully.”
In that sense, MyWay’s the best nest.
‘Not flawless, though.’
But I can fill those gaps.
‘To do that…’
I need to perfect the work I’m handling now.
“So, Ailee,” I said, opting for my best approach instead of a simple plea.
“What’s the concept for Mysty’s choreography?”
Of course—
“Yujin-ssi, the holiday’s over, and I just started work. I get your urgency, but there’s a limit to fishing for answers in a dry well.”
It seems I’ll need some time.
A daesang isn’t a trophy you grab just because your song’s good.
Art’s like that.
‘Not like a game system with some absolute judge scoring you.’
In a field where opinions vary wildly, picking an objective “best” by skill alone is unrealistic.
So, factors beyond talent inevitably shape the judgment.
The biggest? Undeniably—
‘Name value.’
Or “popularity.”
High popularity and name value don’t guarantee success.
But in entertainment—movies, dramas, songs, games—nothing kicks off that initial buzz like they do. That’s a fact.
That’s why I’m all in on Hylliy’s new track, Mysty.
Its success and my title as MyWay’s second main producer will lay the foundation for my name value.
‘Later, I’ll need to do broadcasts, YouTube, all sorts of stuff.’
With a daesang now my serious goal, nothing can be overlooked.
I never planned to half-ass it from the start.
My “sincerity” means something else now.
Specifically—
“How about shifting this part’s color closer to white?”
“Choi Eunwoo-ssi, you’ve never dyed your hair, right? How about an ash blonde shift? A two-tone ocean blue accent could work too.”
“No, not that—make the waves bigger here. Expand the movement range too.”
I’m no longer just a producer in name.
I’ve started tweaking music video storyboards, member hair and outfits, choreography details.
Stuff I’d usually leave to experts.
Reactions weren’t all positive at first.
“Well… we’d like to try, but Eunwoo doesn’t favor dyeing,” the styling team lamented.
“I get the vibe you’re aiming for… but bigger moves might clash with the concept’s power,” the choreography team countered, skeptical.
Frankly, those two teams’ responses were tame.
The brand design team didn’t even react.
But their resistance didn’t last.
“Yujin-producer’s idea looks solid to me. Let’s try it and decide,” Seo Yoon-jae, who ceded his recording role to me but retained overall producer status, backed me.
Looking back, insisting on re-recording “For a Moment” post-regression was my second-best move.
I didn’t just force my way with authority.
A regressor’s cheat code gave me leverage.
The choreography team waved the white flag first.
“Wait, why… why does this work…?”
I can’t create from scratch, but refining what’s there? No problem.
“And why’s a guy dancing a girl group’s moves so well?!”
Showing them my skills—and proving it matched Hylliy’s level—flipped their stance.
The styling team followed.
“Ash blonde? Two-tone? If the producer says so… yes, let’s try.”
After dominating recording and choreography, convincing the artist herself was easy.
“Thank you… for persuading us!”
The already friendly styling team welcomed me with open arms.
The brand design team needed little.
“Uh… Producer-ssi, sorry to ask, but… can we discuss your last suggestion more?”
Their reaction screamed, “We tried it— it’s genius.”
After a two-hour meeting, the music video production rolled smoothly. The brand design lead started dropping by for coffee, which was less ideal.
In two weeks, the scales of opinion on me—once 50/50—tipped heavily my way.
No stubborn pushback was a bonus too big to ignore.
‘Guilt stings a bit, though.’
Excluding choreography, the styling and video ideas aren’t mine.
I recalled Eunwoo’s dye job being a hit, and the video concept mostly ripped from Laira’s Mysty.
It contradicted my resolve when singing “For a Moment,” but—
‘Since I’m here, might as well go all out.’
I shelved my pride.
It cracked when I took Blue Poem from Yohan anyway.
Honestly, even if I don’t win a daesang, Zia might cave in 3-4 years.
‘Waiting that long’s tough, and honestly…’
Right?
I meant to take it slow.
Turning it urgent? No comment.
Days later—
“Yes, let’s set Mysty’s showcase for March 12th.”
Just as I thought Hylliy’s comeback had smooth sailing—
“Team leader!!”
The first brake hit.
“Starlight Pleiades, comeback showcase—March 12th!”
The current top girl group, entering the scene.