Episode 119: Breath-Holding Day 1 (1)
The world is unfair.
For some people, victory—the sweet fruit called success—requires leaning their entire upper body toward the monitor, twisting their whole body just to reach it. For others, all it takes is slouching back in a chair and casually clicking a button with their toe.
In a world like that, of course it’s unfair.
In that sense, the word “unfair” is one I can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt using myself.
Having become the very epitome of that “toe-clicker” thanks to the unparalleled miracle called regression—one no one else in the world can compare to—and yet here I am, about to deeply engrave that very unfairness into the minds of the kids in front of me.
“Seol Nari, Baek Soyoung, Han Chaekyung. These three will move forward under a separate curriculum from now on.”
Project Trinity.
The news that MyWay would also be participating in Music On Net’s large-scale survival program—still only known by name—had spread just the day before yesterday.
At this point, there isn’t a single trainee at MyWay short-sighted enough not to understand what it means when certain trainees are suddenly given a separate curriculum.
‘Anyone who didn’t get it would have already been weeded out and left for another agency or to find their own way.’
Seol Nari is still the better case.
Among the female trainees, she has the highest evaluation—no one can argue against her selection.
Even Nari herself probably never imagined being excluded from Project Trinity unless it turned out to be a boy group program.
But Soyoung and Chaekyung are a little different.
If we look only at the results from my previous life, no one here—not even the indisputable Seol Nari—reached a higher position than Soyoung and Chaekyung.
Yet right now, their levels are still at the stage where the other trainees can’t help but think, “At least I’m better than them.”
‘As expected… even with the jakdu show being that shocking, it’s still hard to completely offset this, huh.’
The one silver lining is that there isn’t a single trainee here whose character is so broken that they’d openly show dissatisfaction.
Those kinds of trainees would have already left hand-in-hand with the short-sighted ones—so that much is only natural.
“Only the three I called stay. Everyone else, back to practice. No matter how busy you are, I’ll still be checking your vocal points, so don’t slack off.”
““Yes.””
“Your voices are too small.”
““Yes!””
That said, the kids are still too young and inexperienced to fully hide the glances that unconsciously drift toward Soyoung and Chaekyung.
‘I can’t really blame them for that.’
Even I, the ultimate toe-clicker, can’t take responsibility for every single one of these children.
Which industry doesn’t work that way? In this industry especially, selection and concentration are inevitable.
Not every kid here can shine under MyWay.
That’s exactly why—in my previous life—all the male and female trainees here, including Seol Nari, ended up debuting under other agencies instead of MyWay.
It feels wrong to play the hypocrite—someone who can’t even take responsibility—while lecturing them about natural human emotions like jealousy, telling them this and that, acting like some nagging old-timer.
If I had regressed about ten more years back, things might have been different.
Back then—even if I didn’t understand how money flowed—I could have ridden Bitcoin and given all these kids everything they wanted.
‘Revenge would’ve been easy too.’
When Altair or Pleiades debuted, I could’ve just bought out Starlight entirely, purged people like Lee Hee-kyung, and brought MyWay under my umbrella.
Boom! Revenge complete with one toe-click!
‘Of course, I never actually wanted that.’
If I had, I might never have met Zia—so I won’t wish for something like that going forward either.
In any case, everything I’m doing right now is ultimately being done with other people’s money—Lee Ahjeong’s and Seo Yoonje’s—so claiming responsibility for every single one of these kids would be arrogant and meddlesome.
Well, since I’m a regressor, here’s one thing I can only say in my heart:
‘Honestly… even this is happening early.’
Kids who were originally supposed to debut next year under the name Oberon are now debuting a year earlier as Orion.
On top of that, the fact that Seol Nari was able to seize an opportunity at MyWay was also thanks to riding the wave created by that butterfly effect—allowing her to step into Project Trinity.
Naturally, that’s not something I can ever say out loud. Even if I could, I shouldn’t.
So all I can do is prove that my choice to put Soyoung and Chaekyung in this position wasn’t wrong.
‘Because this won’t be their last chance.’
From the end of Project Trinity, at the earliest three months, at the latest one year.
At minimum two, at maximum four of them will get another opportunity within that timeframe.
Preparing the foundation so they can hold on until then is obviously my job.
After the other kids left to resume their practice,
The subtle glances flying my way disappeared, making things feel a little more comfortable—but Soyoung and Chaekyung still looked like they were sitting on pins and needles. Even Seol Nari, caught up in the same awkward atmosphere because she was grouped with them, felt the tension.
I opened my mouth to address the three of them.
“I don’t think I need to explain why I pulled just you three aside—you already know.”
“Yes.”
“Ah, yes.”
“I understand.”
The mood was clear even in their responses.
Seol Nari answered immediately, but Soyoung and Chaekyung were a beat slower.
“Nari, you’re already doing well, so there’s nothing in particular you need to add. The training intensity will get a bit heavier, but that’s just normal once you enter the debut team—no need for me to tell you to brace yourself, right?”
“Yes!”
I gave a small nod at the satisfying reply and shifted my gaze.
There sat two thoroughly shrunken slimes.
“Soyoung, and Chaekyung. You two are going to see hell. To the point where you’ll think dozens of times a day, ‘Is this bastard seriously trying to kill me?’”
““…””
“If you’re not confident, say it now. I brought both of you here personally, but that doesn’t mean you’re irreplaceable talents.”
Are there replacements for Soyoung and Chaekyung? No, not right now.
Somewhere in the world, sure—but not at MyWay at this moment.
So this is a little white lie. A stinging one. No—a very painful one.
‘She’s not going to give up here anyway.’
Soyoung—the only one who survived after all her practice mates were eliminated.
Chaekyung—who, upon entering MyWay, not only secured support for her sibling’s tuition and living expenses but also improved her own environment.
Both of them already have their own unbreakable reasons—reasons that will let them endure no matter how grueling the process.
“…I’ll take your answers as heard. Before we really get started, one thing I want to say upfront… If your skills improve, that’s entirely because the two of you have exceptional talent. If there’s not much progress in your skills, that’s entirely because my judgment was wrong. So don’t put too much pressure on yourselves right now. I trust my own eyes. If you can’t believe in your own talent, then at least believe in my eyes.”
““Yes!””
The line was so cliché that I half-doubted whether it would actually encourage them or just make them deflate. But seeing the two of them answer almost in perfect unison, it seemed to have landed pretty well.
This much should be enough preparation.
“Alright then, let’s get started.”
I clapped my hands sharply once to refocus their attention,
“What’s the most important thing for an idol? Seol Nari. Answer.”
I threw out a very fundamental question.
Of course, it was one Nari had heard countless times, so she could answer easily.
“Stamina, and mental strength.”
“Why?”
“If you don’t have stamina to spare, you can’t perform at your full ability. If you don’t have mental strength to spare, there’s no room for your charm to shine through.”
Without me giving any instructions, Nari was already stretching while answering.
““…??””
Soyoung and Chaekyung looked bewildered at the sight but started following along anyway.
“It’s old-fashioned. Old-school. But this is exactly how I proved Hylliy—and Orion. At least here at MyWay, this is the correct answer and the right path. I already gave you time to choose. So this is the path you picked.”
I declared it clearly to the three of them.
“Run.”
***
“Let’s stop here. Slow down and walk.”
The satisfying order I gave was answered not by a voice, but by a mechanical beep.
Beep-beep-beep!
Their faces looked half-dead, but the fingers hitting the deceleration button moved with astonishing speed.
I let out a small chuckle at the sight and continued.
“Good work, Nari.”
“Huff… Thank… huff… you…”
The only one still on the treadmill prepared for trainees was Seol Nari.
Soyoung and Chaekyung had already retired long ago.
‘At least Soyoung held out a bit longer since she has some trainee experience… but Chaekyung is a real problem.’
On top of barely having time to exercise separately, the girl had the ridiculously stubborn habit of only eating when she worked at Scarlet—completely irregular meals. There was no way her stamina could be normal.
‘There’s no quick fix for this. Just have to invest the time.’
For Chaekyung, the only option was to feed her as well as possible and work her just as hard.
‘Nari, on the other hand…’
Having watched Orion’s debut process—even if not Hylliy’s—she was the only one who managed to last the full time I set. It seemed she had already been preparing herself in her own way.
At least having Nari as a benchmark gave me some relief.
“Good job.”
“Hoo… Hoo… Yes…!”
“Listen while you walk. At least while we’re running this special curriculum, I’m going to have you take on the leader role, Nari.”
It would be temporary for now, but in cases like this where a leader is designated early, it rarely changes later.
“Me…? Wouldn’t it be better if Chaekyung unnie took it…?”
“Chaekyung may be the oldest, but so what? Her skills are at rock bottom.”
“Ah…”
Even aside from that, neither Chaekyung nor Soyoung had the personality to be a leader.
In fact, even in Pleiades, Airi—who was right in the middle age-wise among the members—ended up as leader until the end.
I’d already confirmed that neither of them would disregard a leader just because of age, so it made the most sense for Seol Nari—the one with the strongest skills—to hold the center.
“Take Soyoung and Chaekyung, eat lunch together, rest, and come back here at 1:30.”
“Are we eating at the company cafeteria?”
“Yeah. I already asked them to prepare a separate meal plan.”
“Understood. We’ll be back.”
She picked up on meal-related matters quickly too—probably because she’d already gone through something similar during Orion.
She accepted the leader role so naturally and swiftly that it was hard to believe she’d ever felt burdened by it.
There was really only one choice, but even if there had been others, I doubt I would have picked anyone but Nari as leader. She had the perfect leader vibe.
After Nari left,
“As expected of Yujin hyung. No mercy even for the girls.”
The moment we were alone, the guy who had been silently watching finally spoke up.
“You punk. What are you doing here? Don’t you have a schedule?”
“I do. That’s why I came to the company.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at Tae-oh’s casual, natural teasing—the kind he never showed when others were around.
His face, which I hadn’t seen in almost a month because he’d been running around nonstop for stages and events, was honestly a welcome sight.
“Me and Kyuha hyung are going to throw the first pitch and ceremonial first pitch!”
“Really?”
“Yeah! They said it’s really rare for someone only a month into debut to do first pitch and ceremonial pitch?”
Tae-oh puffed out his chest proudly as he spoke.
It really was impressive—a rookie who hadn’t even debuted for a full year, and not even a girl group but a boy group, appearing at a sports event.
Even if female audiences had grown, that world was still very much a male-dominated space.
“Ahem!”
I understood why he was bragging, but the opponent wasn’t great.
‘Who are you trying to flex on?’
After all, I was the one who had sung the national anthem at the Korean Series.
First pitch and ceremonial pitch? At least step on an MLB mound first, right?
Of course, I just casually changed the subject.
“Which team?”
“I don’t really know baseball… but apparently we have to go down to Gwangju?”
“Ah, that place.”
If it’s the baseball team based in Gwangju, then it’s the same one that Levi and Luri did their first pitch and ceremonial pitch for before.
‘So it’s not exactly because they saw Orion itself…’
With the merger with Jooyul Entertainment on top of BNW becoming a full label.
My guess is that they’re trying to solidify their existing ties as MyWay keeps growing bigger.
‘But there’s no need to pour cold water on the kid by saying that out loud.’
Even if that’s part of the purpose, it’s clear that if Orion hadn’t become a topic in the first place, none of this would have happened.
I decided to give him a little encouragement.
“Do well out there. And don’t just chuck the ball around like an idiot.”
“I’m doing the ceremonial pitch. Kyuha hyung is throwing the actual pitch. Hehe. Oh, right, hyung.”
I’d said it casually, but Tae-oh suddenly changed the subject.
“About AZ sunbae-nim’s music video for ‘That Person.’ They say the script has already come in.”
The “That Person” Tae-oh was referring to was, of course, Woo Zia—the second actress to proudly join BNW, which so many people had assumed was Lee Ahjeong’s exclusive agency.
Since the kid had never actually met Zia,
“Well… honestly, a lot of the scripts get sent my way using Zia as an excuse… but don’t worry too much. If it’s an opportunity, then it’s still an opportunity.”
I’d heard the full story directly from Lee Ahjeong, so I knew the inside details.
Of course, even for me, it was a bit awkward to keep pushing the topic with a straight face.
“What, you jealous already? Starting to take interest in actresses? I must not have been working you hard enough lately.”
“No, it’s not like that. Someone like her is way out of my league anyway. If I had even half your talent and charm, maybe—”
“If it’s not that, then where’d you hear that rumor?”
“Hehe. From Su-hyeok hyung.”
I brushed off Tae-oh’s strangely on-point self-deprecating jab and successfully steered the conversation away.
“Hmm… How’s Su-hyeok doing?”
“Yeah, he’s good.”
The reason I asked Tae-oh about Su-hyeok’s well-being was because Su-hyeok was currently working with Orion.
The manager originally slated to be Orion’s road manager had moved over to E-GIS to smoothly integrate Jooyul’s staff, and as a temporary measure to fill the gap, Tae-oh had become Orion’s interim road manager.
‘Anyway, even if Su-hyeok stuck to me right now, there wouldn’t be much for him to do.’
Even though Su-hyeok was an SSS-class manager, staying glued to me would actually make it harder for him to gain real experience.
Even though it was Orion, sending one of my staff to someone else didn’t sit entirely well with me—but in the long run, it wasn’t really a loss for me either.
“I think I finally get why you and Su-hyeok hyung always go around just the two of you. Su-hyeok hyung is seriously… the moment you think you need something, he’s already prepared it. I thought he was reading your mind for real.”
“Don’t eye my manager. I only lent him out temporarily.”
“Hehe… I know. Su-hyeok hyung has to come back to you soon anyway. I’m just a little sad about it.”
Well, that’s true.
With Project Trinity coming up, I’ll have to visit Music On Net frequently, so Su-hyeok will inevitably return to my side soon.
“By the way, has the Trinity talk already reached you guys too?”
Orion currently doesn’t have phones.
The article about MyWay joining Project Trinity had already spread everywhere, but I doubted they’d seen it yet—so I asked casually.
“Huh? Trinity? What’s that?”
As expected, Tae-oh tilted his head like it was completely new information.
“Then how did you know Su-hyeok was coming back?”
“That? Because hyung’s new song is coming out soon?”
Suddenly?
It came out of nowhere—like a bolt from the blue—so this time my head tilted just like his.
“Wait… so that’s not some kind of promotional marketing…?”
“What? What do you mean? What is it?”
As the cryptic conversation continued and my inner frustration grew a little,
“Can I borrow your phone for a sec, hyung?”
Tae-oh took my phone and started searching for something.
And a moment later.
“Look at this.”
“What the… is this?”
The moment I took the phone back and saw the screen, those words slipped out of my mouth involuntarily.
[MyWay, awaken!]
[One verse and then radio silence—what kind of treatment is this?!]
[Day 1 of praying for Han Yujin’s ‘Soyagok’ release]
[Holding my breath until Yujin’s new song drops 흡]
Busy pedestrian pathways.
Those phrases were plastered across massive electronic billboards lining both walls—accompanied by my photo.
“No way… here…”
“It’s at Gyodae Station, apparently. They said it’s spread everywhere. I naturally thought the company set it up?”
The full picture of the situation.
I understood it the instant I saw the billboard text.
‘Soyagok.’
That was the title of the song I made to commemorate 3,000 days with Zia.
Ailee wouldn’t pull something like this without saying a word—not when she knows how busy I am with Trinity.
It was just so massively scaled beyond anything I’d imagined right now that it was hard to process.
‘So this is…’
The voices of fans demanding the release of Soyagok.
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TL Note:
Want to read ahead?
Chapters 120–135 are available on My Patreon (Premium Tier) together with 5 other novels.
Link: https://www.patreon.com/cw/Vritratls
[This series is in the “Regressed Idol” collection]
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