Chapter 65: Dionysus (9)
― …You’ve had it rough too. Getting mixed up with that crazy otter.
Dionysus wanted to agree wholeheartedly, but he kept his mouth shut.
Because behind him, Neptune was still aiming what he claimed he “borrowed”—a water gun—at a turtle doll.
In short, the water gun was much closer than any amusement park rules were.
What if that water gun suddenly pointed at him instead?
“No… Rather than that, I want to know what we can gain here, and what trial awaits us.”
The turtle doll glanced at the otter pointing the water gun behind Dionysus, sighed, and then shortened its usual explanation to get these two out of here as quickly as possible.
Just from the mess that otter had caused in the short time it took them to arrive, it had absolutely no desire to deal with him.
Pew pew—!
To make things worse, that damned otter was way too strong.
― Aaaaaaaargh!
― Damn these inanimate bastards. How are we supposed to beat them?
― You’re a ghost, so why do you have bruises on your body?!
― I curse you! Damn dolls!!!
At some point, Neptune had started firing the water gun and beating up the pirate ghosts who came to capture him.
The turtle doll had no desire to keep watching that horrifying scene. And worse yet, the otter stayed just barely within the boundary where they couldn’t intervene, making him even more infuriating.
‘Oh, Charybdis… why give us such a trial…’
Eventually, the pirate ghosts failed to catch Neptune and fled. Now Dionysus and Neptune were each seated in their bumper cars.
Originally, Neptune insisted that he must never submit to the oppression of some “child god,” but Dionysus clung to the otter’s pant leg and refused to let go.
Just remembering that scene made even Neptune feel a little embarrassed.
‘A man being too assertive is also unsettling… Zeus likes pretty boys, but could this guy be the same? So he likes beastfolk, huh.’
Ignoring the ridiculous assumptions Neptune would make if Dionysus knew…
The bumper cars began transforming, as if preparing for a match.
Dionysus’s bumper car, influenced by him, took on the appearance of grapevines and a leopard.
Neptune’s bumper car turned into a sports car decorated with a trident.
And that bumper car screamed loudly: I am related to Poseidon.
After all, only those associated with Poseidon would dare to use a trident symbol in the sea.
“Um… Lord Neptune, are you related to the trident somehow?”
Dionysus cautiously asked, wondering if this otter was somehow connected to Poseidon.
His bumper car’s transformation and the overwhelming strength he displayed were enough to make anyone believe he was Poseidon.
Of course, his ridiculous temperament said otherwise.
Poseidon was a good person—he accepted his brother and mother, after all.
“Heh. I wasn’t planning to reveal this, but…”
Neptune sounded as if he was about to share a deep secret, making Dionysus tense.
Could it be…?
“I am the king of otter beastfolk. It’s supposed to be a secret, but I suppose I’ve ended up telling you. The sacred treasure of the otter kings is this fork.”
The adorable otter took out a small silver fork.
And the moment he held up the fork, the bumper car—previously shaped like a trident—transformed into a fork.
Seeing that, Dionysus simply nodded as if exhausted. Why had he expected anything grand? Why did he let his imagination run wild?
‘Truly, nothing makes sense when I’m around this guy… A fork? Well, I guess it does look similar. Really…’
“Aah… yes… That’s very impressive.”
The bumper car had clearly mistaken the fork for a trident. They look similar enough.
And in his exhaustion, Dionysus failed to notice one important detail.
The fork that Neptune had lifted was trembling, as if it had some complaint of its own.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep!
With that sound, the barrier blocking the front of the bumper cars disappeared.
A massive field opened up—wide enough for the bumper cars to run wild.
Vrrroooom—!
Aside from Dionysus and Neptune, everyone else riding bumper cars looked desperate.
Their appearances varied greatly—some were sailors of the sea, some were mages, some mercenaries, others knights in armor.
The biggest difference between them and Dionysus and Neptune was that ghosts or spirits dangled from their shoulders like burdens.
Screeee—
“Be careful, young man. It seems they’re targeting only us.”
“Yes. I feel the same.”
Whoosh—
Their hostility was directed solely at Dionysus and Neptune.
It was as if they were determined to drag down those two, who looked far more comfortable than themselves, and make them suffer equally.
“Lord Neptune, what will you do? According to the turtle doll, the bumper car competition eventually comes down to reducing the number of participants as much as possible before reaching the finish line.”
As Dionysus said, the bumper car ride here was a rather vicious game.
The basic rule was simple: drive along a randomized track, avoid obstacles, and reach the goal.
But the crucial point was this—
The fewer people who remain when you cross the finish line, the greater the rewards.
And currently, there were 120 participants in total.
If more than 20 people were still left when someone crossed the finish line, then everyone except the one who crossed first…
Would be sent to the underground of the amusement park.
And that underground, according to rumor…
Was not a pleasant place.
“That’ll be simple enough. You follow the ones speeding ahead. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Lord Neptune…”
Dionysus felt guilty for having thought of Neptune as nothing more than a socially inept madman.
To think he was someone capable of such self-sacrifice.
“Yes. I will make sure to get first place. I’ll repay your kindness.”
“What? There’s no need for that—”
VROOOOOM!
Before Neptune even finished speaking, Dionysus sped off toward the group that had gone ahead.
Neptune could only shake his head at the sight.
“When I first saw him, he looked clueless… Now he’s in such a rush again.”
Bravery and recklessness were indeed privileges of the young, but wasn’t this a bit too much?
And the fact that this Dionysus was supposedly the most well-behaved and rule-abiding of Zeus’s children… Made it all the more surprising.
“Ahh… He’s been raised all wrong. Tsk tsk. What a strange, troublesome kid. Right?”
Vrrrr—
“What! You think you’re any better? You arrogant little fork. Keep it up and I’ll lock you in a storage room!”
B-BANG—!
“What? You’ll complain to Eurynome? You damned fork!”
As the participants tried to attack Dionysus, who had raced far ahead, they instead turned to target Neptune…
But Neptune, completely ignoring them, was busy fighting with his own fork and blowing up everything around him.
It was utter chaos…
― Charybdis—good gods! I have to clean up all that?!
A distant scream of a turtle doll echoed faintly.
Vrooooom—
Meanwhile, Dionysus was racing forward, even using his divine power to accelerate.
His speed was so great that the participants later said all they saw was his afterimage passing by.
“Let’s keep going, Geshtinanna. Let’s make the most of the chance Lord Neptune gave us.”
Dionysus’s bumper car, Geshtinanna—a name he’d given it after the Mesopotamian goddess of wine and vines—seemed encouraged by his words and accelerated further, now closing in on the first and second place racers.
“Hey! You two! How about a deal? They say up to five people can be recognized as a team.”
Thinking it was a reasonable proposal, Dionysus called out to the two racers ahead.
He had heard that teams could be formed, and that the rewards wouldn’t be reduced even if they entered as a team. So in Dionysus’s mind, there was no reason to fight so intensely.
But that was just the naïve thought of someone who had come here for the first time.
The people gathered here were those loyal to their desires and ambitions. And most of them absolutely hated the idea of others doing well.
“You… you must be new here. Stop saying stupid things and focus. It’s coming.”
“What? What do you mean?”
The mage—who at least bothered to reply—said only that one sentence before speeding up again.
Dionysus, of course, had no idea what that meant, but soon the meaning became painfully clear.
‘Ah! Forget deals… survival comes first.’
Clank—BOOM!
With the sound of something opening, the air trembled and the ground shook.
It wasn’t a trap. Something simply appearing in this world was enough to shake the entire arena.
“Impossible… Why would that thing be here…?”
The creature revealed looked like a whale… and a dragon… and somehow also like a fish.
Its name was Cetus—Aithiopia.
One of the three great sea monsters Poseidon entrusted to serve Charybdis, and the very beast Perseus would one day fight—
A true ruler of the sea, far beyond what most gods could handle.
“No way… A creature like that shouldn’t even be able to enter a sub-world made for bumper cars. The place should collapse the moment it steps in.”
Even while driving, Dionysus couldn’t hide his panic.
This didn’t make sense. A being like that meant one thing—
Death was the only option.
Whether or not it understood the terror in Dionysus’s heart, simply began to chase the bumper cars.
Vwoooooom—!
The shockwave from its movement sent distant bumper cars flipping and flying through the air.
“If you stop, you die!”
Now fully understanding the mage’s warning, Dionysus pushed the speed to the limit and raced ahead.
He noticed that the first and second place racers were also now running full power alongside him.
“Oh? You’re not dead? You were spouting nonsense so I thought you’d get swept away.”
“You could’ve warned me if you knew.”
“Why would I? You’re still a competitor. Anyway, since you look like you’ll survive here, let’s at least exchange names. I’m Melchires. A mage studying under the great witch Circe.”
“I’m Crafton. A knight studying under the great master Chiron.”
Dionysus nodded. Of course—those who could take first and second in this insane game had to be exceptional.
Even someone like Dionysus, who had spent nearly his whole life in the mountains, knew both names.
Especially Circe—the witch goddess who made the cursed potion he once drank.
“I see. I’m Dionysus, illegitimate son of Lord Zeus.”
The two men nodded politely at his introduction… and then immediately lost interest.
“……”
Their reaction made Dionysus think many things.
He had secretly expected a more dramatic response from humans.
His nannies and teacher had always said that a demigod would be welcomed anywhere among humans, never having to worry about survival.
But the actual humans he met—these two, and even that otter beastman Neptune—reacted no differently than they would to anyone else.
Even the amusement park dolls showed no surprise or special interest at all.
‘So being a demigod really isn’t anything special. People outside call them demigods, so I thought it meant something… but I guess only full gods actually matter.’
The sad part was that there was no one here to correct Dionysus’s misconception.
Everyone he had met so far wasn’t “less impressed because he was a demigod”—
They were beings far rarer and more extraordinary than demigods, so naturally they weren’t fazed.